I know we can't just rely on other people's testimonies and expect to build a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father through that. But I do believe that listening to other people's testimonies can strengthen what we already have. I'll admit, I'm usually pretty bad at paying attention in church. But today I made it a point to find one thing that really stuck out to me from what each person said.
Lately I've felt that my testimony has been a little dim. That's not to say that I haven't known that this church is true or that I've been doubting my beliefs in any way. I just haven't felt that same conviction that I used to. And I've been praying that God would help me build it back up. I've also been planning on serving a mission, and I just started my papers last week. And you know what? I'm scared. Really scared. How am I supposed to teach other people about the Gospel when I don't know all the answers myself? How am I supposed to go share God's word with people I don't know when I can barely do normal-people things like going to the bank or the post office without getting scared? Am I ready for this? And why does everything seem to be happening so fast?
One thing I heard today in Fast and Testimony Meeting was that God will ALWAYS provide a way for us to follow Him. And I've noticed recently that that is definitely true. I've sort of been pushing off serving a mission. Not because I didn't want to go as soon as I could, but because I'm the WORST at saving money. I was hoping to leave as soon as I turned 19, but by the time summer was ending, I had -maybe- $500 saved up from the job that I'd gotten the previous year in an attempt to save for my mission. I'd been searching for a second job so I could leave around January, and Heavenly Father blessed me with an awesome job at an elementary school. Of course, I ended up pushing off my mission plans until the beginning of summer so I wouldn't be leaving halfway through the school year. Aaand again, I'm really bad at saving. Then there was the issue of Princess Festival. See, I've been working at the Princess Festival every summer for the last five years, and it's always been the highlight of my year. It's the thing I look forward to from the end of one festival to the next. But the way things have been going the last couple of years, I wasn't sure how long it would stick around (due to financial issues). I was scared that if I missed out on this year, I might come back and the best part of my teenage years would be gone. So I asked the director when it would be this year. It's usually the last two weeks of June, so I wouldn't be leaving much later than I'd been planning. He told me that this year it would be a three day event in July. I thought "Only three days? And so much later? Is it worth it? ...Well, it IS Princess Festival, and I don't want to miss it." And I decided that I'd stick around. Just a couple weeks after deciding I'd leave at the end of July, I found out that Princess Festival was being cancelled this year in order to rebuild their funds and plan better for next year. If that wasn't a sign that I need to leave soon, I don't know what is. I know my Heavenly Father needs me out there in the mission field, and He has provided a way for me to go on a mission and has helped keep me focused on that, even though I could still be doing other good things.
Another thought that I really liked is that God puts people in our lives at the exact moment that we need them. The best example I can think of as far as my mission story goes is my friend Nick. I met Nick my sophomore year through another friend of mine. We weren't necessarily close friends, but I thought we was a really cool kid and I really admired him. Up until high school, I'd had no intention of ever serving a mission, so when I decided that I wanted to serve, it was kind of a huge deal for me. Nick was one of the first people I told, and he was nothing but supportive. He said, "That's awesome!! You're gonna be great!" And asked if I'd like to recieve his daily scripture texts. I didn't think that texts could mean so much to me. They reminded me to do my own personal reading (which I'm really bad at), and gave me insight on scriptures I hadn't thought to study before or helped me see familiar scriptures from a different perspective. I'd decided on my own to serve a mission, but Nick played a big part in me sticking to that decision and growing closer to Heavenly Father. Anyway, Nick just got back from his mission, and I was trying to decide whether or not to go to his homecoming. I thought maybe it would be weird, since we weren't like, super close or anything back in high school. But I decided to go, since he had made such a big impact on my life. I got there maybe ten minutes early, and I didn't see anyone there that I knew, so I sat by myself. A couple minutes later, a girl from school came and sat by me. I recognised her from some of my classes, but I didn't really know her. We started talking because, you know, we were sitting next to each other and it would've been super awkward otherwise. She told me about how she'd been finished with her mission papers since fall, but things weren't working out in her old ward and everything. But she came back home to finish, and she was hopefully going to submit her papers that day. That got me thinking that I really needed to set up an appointment to get mine started, since I'd been planning on it for a while but kept procrastinating. Thanks to her, I got that extra little push to set up the appointment right there in sacrament meeting. I was expecting the appointment to be the next week or so since Bishop was probably busy, right? WRONG. Here's how it went down.
-texting-
"Hey, you're the one I talk to to set up an appointment with the bishop, right?"
"Yep"
"Okay, cause I need to do that."
"Alright, does 3 pm today work?"
*INSERT PANIC HERE*
WUT.
"Yeah, That's great!"
And with that, I started my papers. Heavenly Father sent a girl whom I barely knew to come sit by me and inspire me to get working on what I needed to do. And this happened at the homecoming of a guy without whom I very well may have gone back on my decision to serve. God knows us each individually and knows exactly who to put in our lives to help us reach our full potential.
I know that when we trust God, we can do SO much more than we could ever have done on our own. And whenever we're feeling like we're alone and no one knows how we feel, we can always turn to our perfect Big Brother, who has felt not only every sorrow or pain that we've felt, but also every joy. Every smile and moment of warmth. And that's why I want to serve a mission. I want to share the happiness and peace that comes through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I want others to know how to find true joy.
So yes, I'm scared. I know I don't know everything there is to know about this Gospel, and I'm scared that I won't be able to share it with the power and eloquence that it deserves. But you know, other people are scared too. They're scared that there isn't a life beyond death, that they won't see their loved ones again. They're scared that they're alone in the world, or that they'll never find true happiness. They're scared that they don't have a purpose, and that maybe life isn't worth living. And I can at least help with that much.
Because I KNOW that Christ lives. I know that there's a plan in place that will bring us back to be with our Heavenly Father, and that there's life after death, and that families can be together for eternity. I know that we have loving Heavenly Parents who know us perfectly and that Christ understands us more than we even understand ourselves. I know that we've come to this earth to grow and become perfected like our Heavenly Father, and that He wants nothing more than to see us again after having done the best that we could have done while here, even if that means making mistakes and needing to repent a lot. And I know that everyone is worth loving, because everyone is of infinite worth in God's eyes. I'm SO EXCITED to do the Lord's work. And even though I'm definitely not perfect, Christ definitely is. And through Christ I can do anything.
Lately I've felt that my testimony has been a little dim. That's not to say that I haven't known that this church is true or that I've been doubting my beliefs in any way. I just haven't felt that same conviction that I used to. And I've been praying that God would help me build it back up. I've also been planning on serving a mission, and I just started my papers last week. And you know what? I'm scared. Really scared. How am I supposed to teach other people about the Gospel when I don't know all the answers myself? How am I supposed to go share God's word with people I don't know when I can barely do normal-people things like going to the bank or the post office without getting scared? Am I ready for this? And why does everything seem to be happening so fast?
One thing I heard today in Fast and Testimony Meeting was that God will ALWAYS provide a way for us to follow Him. And I've noticed recently that that is definitely true. I've sort of been pushing off serving a mission. Not because I didn't want to go as soon as I could, but because I'm the WORST at saving money. I was hoping to leave as soon as I turned 19, but by the time summer was ending, I had -maybe- $500 saved up from the job that I'd gotten the previous year in an attempt to save for my mission. I'd been searching for a second job so I could leave around January, and Heavenly Father blessed me with an awesome job at an elementary school. Of course, I ended up pushing off my mission plans until the beginning of summer so I wouldn't be leaving halfway through the school year. Aaand again, I'm really bad at saving. Then there was the issue of Princess Festival. See, I've been working at the Princess Festival every summer for the last five years, and it's always been the highlight of my year. It's the thing I look forward to from the end of one festival to the next. But the way things have been going the last couple of years, I wasn't sure how long it would stick around (due to financial issues). I was scared that if I missed out on this year, I might come back and the best part of my teenage years would be gone. So I asked the director when it would be this year. It's usually the last two weeks of June, so I wouldn't be leaving much later than I'd been planning. He told me that this year it would be a three day event in July. I thought "Only three days? And so much later? Is it worth it? ...Well, it IS Princess Festival, and I don't want to miss it." And I decided that I'd stick around. Just a couple weeks after deciding I'd leave at the end of July, I found out that Princess Festival was being cancelled this year in order to rebuild their funds and plan better for next year. If that wasn't a sign that I need to leave soon, I don't know what is. I know my Heavenly Father needs me out there in the mission field, and He has provided a way for me to go on a mission and has helped keep me focused on that, even though I could still be doing other good things.
Another thought that I really liked is that God puts people in our lives at the exact moment that we need them. The best example I can think of as far as my mission story goes is my friend Nick. I met Nick my sophomore year through another friend of mine. We weren't necessarily close friends, but I thought we was a really cool kid and I really admired him. Up until high school, I'd had no intention of ever serving a mission, so when I decided that I wanted to serve, it was kind of a huge deal for me. Nick was one of the first people I told, and he was nothing but supportive. He said, "That's awesome!! You're gonna be great!" And asked if I'd like to recieve his daily scripture texts. I didn't think that texts could mean so much to me. They reminded me to do my own personal reading (which I'm really bad at), and gave me insight on scriptures I hadn't thought to study before or helped me see familiar scriptures from a different perspective. I'd decided on my own to serve a mission, but Nick played a big part in me sticking to that decision and growing closer to Heavenly Father. Anyway, Nick just got back from his mission, and I was trying to decide whether or not to go to his homecoming. I thought maybe it would be weird, since we weren't like, super close or anything back in high school. But I decided to go, since he had made such a big impact on my life. I got there maybe ten minutes early, and I didn't see anyone there that I knew, so I sat by myself. A couple minutes later, a girl from school came and sat by me. I recognised her from some of my classes, but I didn't really know her. We started talking because, you know, we were sitting next to each other and it would've been super awkward otherwise. She told me about how she'd been finished with her mission papers since fall, but things weren't working out in her old ward and everything. But she came back home to finish, and she was hopefully going to submit her papers that day. That got me thinking that I really needed to set up an appointment to get mine started, since I'd been planning on it for a while but kept procrastinating. Thanks to her, I got that extra little push to set up the appointment right there in sacrament meeting. I was expecting the appointment to be the next week or so since Bishop was probably busy, right? WRONG. Here's how it went down.
-texting-
"Hey, you're the one I talk to to set up an appointment with the bishop, right?"
"Yep"
"Okay, cause I need to do that."
"Alright, does 3 pm today work?"
*INSERT PANIC HERE*
WUT.
"Yeah, That's great!"
And with that, I started my papers. Heavenly Father sent a girl whom I barely knew to come sit by me and inspire me to get working on what I needed to do. And this happened at the homecoming of a guy without whom I very well may have gone back on my decision to serve. God knows us each individually and knows exactly who to put in our lives to help us reach our full potential.
I know that when we trust God, we can do SO much more than we could ever have done on our own. And whenever we're feeling like we're alone and no one knows how we feel, we can always turn to our perfect Big Brother, who has felt not only every sorrow or pain that we've felt, but also every joy. Every smile and moment of warmth. And that's why I want to serve a mission. I want to share the happiness and peace that comes through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I want others to know how to find true joy.
So yes, I'm scared. I know I don't know everything there is to know about this Gospel, and I'm scared that I won't be able to share it with the power and eloquence that it deserves. But you know, other people are scared too. They're scared that there isn't a life beyond death, that they won't see their loved ones again. They're scared that they're alone in the world, or that they'll never find true happiness. They're scared that they don't have a purpose, and that maybe life isn't worth living. And I can at least help with that much.
Because I KNOW that Christ lives. I know that there's a plan in place that will bring us back to be with our Heavenly Father, and that there's life after death, and that families can be together for eternity. I know that we have loving Heavenly Parents who know us perfectly and that Christ understands us more than we even understand ourselves. I know that we've come to this earth to grow and become perfected like our Heavenly Father, and that He wants nothing more than to see us again after having done the best that we could have done while here, even if that means making mistakes and needing to repent a lot. And I know that everyone is worth loving, because everyone is of infinite worth in God's eyes. I'm SO EXCITED to do the Lord's work. And even though I'm definitely not perfect, Christ definitely is. And through Christ I can do anything.
This is really great inspiration, and really what so many other are feeling right now as well. It took me a few years to properly prepare myself to be able to serve medically speaking. I remember the day of my departure waking up and giving in tot he cowardice of my thoughts and concluding that I wasn't going to go. Passing through that small airport terminal and waving goodbye to my family for 2 years, I remember shaking, but as soon as I passed through the doors I looked and saw that tiny plane that would take me to Calgary and then Utah. I touched the outside of the plane and all that fear left. I strapped my self in, and it took off, the plane was hitting turbulence and it was awesome. Heavenly Father knows how much I love aircraft and I'm sure that he placed that plane in my way to comfort me ;) When I got to the MTC I met my companion. The strangest thing again he was nearly identical to a friend I'd had in High School but LDS (coincidence I think not). Unfortunatly due to health reasons I was not able to stay and my years or preparation led to being a missionary for a week (some people didn't event think I'd left) lol. When my sister decided to go I made it a personal goal to help her out in any way I could. I knew that as a human being with this obstacle in front to finish all the necessary paper work that we become relaxed and put if off for tomorrow. One thing that really helped her get in the motion was to have the sisters visit her, usually they'd visit once a week or so and on occasion they'd invite her to join them visiting member and nonmembers. When I got tot he MTC I had a big change, even from being there for 5 days. It's something I can't quite explain, but I know that Heavenly Father helps us out a lot. Much more than we realize. As you continue to prepare for your mission you will find that he is merciful at letting things fall into place for you, he does and will prepare a way for you.
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like you are listening to the spirit and on the right path. God bless and good luck. You always excel at what you do.
ReplyDelete